Something about public toilets sets off a bunch of anxieties in me and always has. Just ask my mom. Her parents took me on a car trip to visit family for a week when I was little. Nothing but public toilets so guess who didn’t poop for week? I’ve gotten over that bowel paralyzing phobia, mostly. I’ll still leave a Red Sox playoff game in the fourth inning to go home and use Old Faithful rather than drop the kids off at the pool in Fenway. At work, at least, I’ve grown accustomed to not denying my system its needs.

 Anxieties die hard though and I still question whether or not the tail of my shirt went in the toilet when I sat down or not and I’m always paranoid about dropping things in the toilet. On more than one occasion my wallet has plopped out of my pants while they were making the return trip up my legs. Its only been the grace of God that’s made it land on the bacteria ridden, yet dry, floor of the stall instead of in the sick soup of the bowl. I hadn’t dropped anything in the bowl though until a few weeks ago and when I dropped my first item in for a swim, it was an expensive one.

 Like most dorks with little style and a big appetite for gadgets, I wear my cell phone on a clip on my belt. I’m usually very conscious of it when pulling up in the stall but somehow I spaced, the phone and the clip hopped off my belt and sank to the bottom of the, fortunately, flushed bowl. Without thinking I reached in immediately and pulled out the phone. After all, it was only two months old so I’m not eligible for another discounted phone until 2008 now. It was literally dripping with water. Sadness.

 Knowing a little bit about electronics, though admittedly not enough to know how to keep them out of toilets, I took the battery out right away to cut power. I rushed the patient back to my office where I took the whole phone apart and blew it out with pressurized air from the shop. I was satisfied that the water was gone but not convinced the phone would work.

 Surprisingly, it powered up right away! The screen was the one remaining side effect of the accident. It sputtered, broke up, and went blank like an old black and white tv. I lived with it for a few weeks before Jaime gave me the okay to seek a replacement. Verizon, however, would only sell me a new phone for full retail price ($249). I don’t think so.

 So, in a last desperate effort to fix the screen I disassembled the screen area once more. This time, even though things looked fine, I decided to swab every switch, circuit, and connection with alcohol. After a couple of minutes I powered it back up and it works fine! We’re back in business after being where business has actually been

 Let this be a lesson to you. First, $5 a month and a $50 deductible is NOT a bad deal when they offer you the insurance plan at your wireless provider. Compared to $200-600 to replace a broken phone, it’s a steal. Second, when you have to sit down and “log on” leave the phone in your cubicle.